Marketing guru Michael Port talks a lot about the “red velvet rope policy” he uses in his business. His premise is that your business will be more fulfilling and successful if you choose clients or customers who you really want to work with. Of course, this policy requires that you weed out the clients who aren’t the best fit, who would be better served by others, or who are just downright annoying to you. These not-so-perfect clients aren’t allowed through your metaphorical red velvet rope. While these people may be the perfect client or customer for someone else, they just aren’t right for you.
I agree wholeheartedly with this practice.
In fact, I’ve been doing it for a while professionally. From a business perspective, it just makes sense, it makes me happier, and it allows me to really serve the people I am meant to serve.
I was talking to a brand new friend about this topic yesterday, and the thought occurred to me: Why not apply this same concept to my personal life?
I know for a fact that my personal and professional life are very connected. It stands to reason that if I’m not applying the red velvet rope policy to my personal life, my professional life won’t be as successful as it could be.
So, what is the criteria for my personal red velvet rope policy?
In the past I’ve considered this idea in a more general sense. But when I applied the same level of thought and detail that I’ve applied to my professional life, I found that the answers are actually the same. Not surprisingly, my personal and professional criteria are identical.
So, here is my criteria:
- Smart (book smart, street smart, creative smart… any kind of smart)
- Quick thinking
- Willing to laugh at themselves
- Always trying to improve
- Good listening skills
- Reliable (do what they say they will do)
- Admits mistakes and tries to fix and learn from them
- Takes responsibility for their own situation
- Willing to tell the truth, even when it isn’t popular or easy
- Respectful of me and others
- Realistic (not overly optimistic nor overly pessimistic)
- Introspective
- Open to new ideas and ways of doing things
- Willing to make a commitment to the relationship
Yes, this is quite a long list. You might think that not many people would meet all these criteria. And that is probably true.
You may also be thinking, “Who the heck does she think she is? How conceited must she be to think she can create criteria like this?”
Or maybe you are thinking that I’m not open to lots of different kinds of people.
But here is how I look at it…
My red velvet rope policy doesn’t apply to acquaintances, or Facebook friends, or Twitter followers, or people I’m casual friends with.
It is NOT about eliminating people from my life.
It is NOT about judging people.
It IS about me spending most of my time with people who inspire me to be the best I can be.
In my professional life, I do workshops and teach classes, and some of the people in attendance aren’t a perfect fit for me. That’s okay. I still like them, enjoy our time together, and want to make sure they get value from the experience.
I just don’t think they or I will be best served by a more formal relationship.
This is also true for close friendships.
While I will always have people in my life (and business) who don’t meet all these criteria, the people I’m closest to should come pretty darn close most of the time.
If not… well, maybe it is time to reconsider the type of relationship that makes sense.
I must say, it is very liberating to consider this in my personal life, and I can already feel that this will have a positive impact on my business. I’m just a happier and more productive person in general when I surround myself with people who truly belong on the inside of my red velvet rope.
Filed under: Business, Career, Challenging Assumptions, Coaching, Decision Making Tagged: | Michael Port, Personal Life, Professional Life, Red Velvet Rope Policy
