In a post last September, I introduced a concept called “intramind mediation”. Mediation is a process professional mediators use to help parties resolve conflicts in a way that benefits everyone involved. The mediation process includes steps like gathering information from each party, understanding each party’s issues and interests, communicating and generating options, and negotiating and agreeing to a solution that works for everyone.
As a trained mediator, I couldn’t help but wonder: Why not use mediation techniques to resolve conflicts between different parts of our mind?
Hence, intramind mediation was born. It uses the power of mediation, hypnosis, and coaching to resolve internal conflicts that keep you from your best life. For example, part of you may want to create a career around something you love. However, another part is concerned about your need for prestige, acceptance, a fancy job title, and/or a lot of money. This conflict can cause a lot of frustration. You may feel like you just don’t have the willpower to make the changes you want to make. In reality, it has nothing to do with willpower; you are failing to make the changes because one part of your mind is sabotaging the other part.
Enter intramind mediation – this is how you get the parts of your mind in sync with each other.
Just like normal mediation, each intramind mediation session is different. But the steps are always the same:
- Determine how you feel when you are happy and when you are not
- Identify, name, and describe the “conflicting parties” (e.g. the part of you that wants a cool career, and the part that wants the prestige of a big title)
- Speak to each part, gathering information about its goals, issues, and interests
- Generate options that incorporate the goals of each part
- Test out the best options to see which ones make you feel happy as a whole person (see step 1)
- Choose the best option (new behavior, goals, thought patterns, etc.)
- Integrate this option into your subconscious via hypnosis, imagery, or meditation.
After I began using this technique with myself and clients, I discovered a similar process called parts therapy. Parts therapy is a therapeutic tool that is used to help people deal with inner conflicts using imagery and therapeutic inquiry. In my experience, intramind mediation seems to more directly identify and “speak to” each part of the mind, then quickly integrates the parts to test out the resolution for the whole person. Intramind mediation also seems to work better for analytical clients because it closely models the structured mediation process rather than a traditional therapeutic inquiry process. Once you get good at this process, you can move through the seven steps in a few minutes for small conflicts, and in a few hours for larger ones.
Give intramind mediation a try and let me know what you think. If you have experienced parts therapy, how do you think it compares to intramind mediation? What other tools do you use to resolve inner conflicts?
Filed under: Coaching, Hypnosis, Neuroscience | Tagged: Hypnosis, Intramind Mediation, Mediation, Parts Therapy
Caryn -
I am intrigued by this concept. It made me think about the negotiation book, Getting To Yes and some relationships systems work I’v studied and how they teach that in order to move forward towards a win-win, you need to get the opposing parties onto the same side so they have a shared goal to work towards. Although I see the value of doing this with individuals, I have never thought of applying them to the different voices within ourselves. These voices are valid and valuable parts of who we are as human beings and if we can get them on the same side working towards a shared goal, imagine the potential?!?!
I’m going to play with this concept this week and will keep you posted on how it turns out.
Thank you so much for taking a familiar concept and turning it on its head to apply it in new ways!
Carly
Thanks, Carly! Yes, please let me know how it goes when you try it. I like the idea of tying this in to negotiation. Mediation and negotiation techniques are very similar, and I think a lot of people are more familiar with negotiation.
Caryn
Gosh, I wish I had read this before our session this week! LOL. I would have come better prepared. I tend to think better on paper, so I think writing out these steps (and creating “characters” to represent both sides, will help me dig into the answers. The biggest “wow” step for me was the “Generate options that incorporate the goals of each part.” I tend to see everything as an “either/or” situation, when in truth, I need to find solutions that draw from both sides. That was definitely an “aha” moment!
Hey Rebecca – I think it is a great idea to write it out – particularly since you express yourself so well in writing. I can’t wait to read it. Actually, you gave me an idea for another way to use this tool. Yikes. I think I may be a serial *tool* reinventor…
Glad you had an “aha” moment. Yeah, the opportunity to draw from both sides is often not obvious, particularly when the sides seem so different.
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Do you know about Bonnie Badenoch’s inner community or Roberto Assagioli’s subpersonalities? I think you will find both of interest. More here:
http://westallen.typepad.com/brains_on_purpose/2008/08/interview-of-bonnie-badenoch-on-being-brain-wise.html
Hi Stephanie, Thank you so much for the info. Very interesting – I’ll be exploring it in more detail. I also love your blog – great to see that you are discussing both mediation and neuroscience. I see that you attended classes at Santa Clara University. Are you still based in the SF Bay Area? Caryn
Hi, Caryn. Thanks for kind words about the blog!
I am no longer in the Bay Area. After I quit practicing law, I moved first to Santa Fe, and then to Denver where I still live. I get out there once in a while though because my sister lives in northern CA and my dad in the Central Valley. Was just there last month.
I sometimes miss the Bay Area, but the traffic is so fast compared to Denver. When I lived there, I used to zip all around between the counties of Santa Clara, San Mateo, San Francisco, Marin, and Sonoma. I think things have speeded up since 1985. Or maybe I have just slowed down?
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