Calling all extroverts…

This article is a follow-up to my post on the intuitive decision making process. This time I’m writing for the extroverts out there… although introverts will love this, too.

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I am an introvert, but I love to hang out with extroverts. Those of the extroverted persuasion fascinate me. I think the universe knows I love them because it keeps sending them to me. These wonderful souls accept my blunt comments and observations, and instead of thinking about and stewing over my words, they just react. So fun!

Introverts like me love the intuitive decision making process because it allows us to use our gift: introspection. We can think about what we notice and interpret it all in our heads. On the other hand, when I describe this process to extroverts, I get a blank stare.

An extrovert’s reaction goes something like this:

• “I don’t notice anything when I think about my question.”
• “How does what I notice have anything to do with my question?”
• “What am I supposed to be doing?”

Extroverts are more action oriented. They’d rather react to things than consider the options. They want to talk rather than think. They don’t want to sit around for days, weeks, or months contemplating a decision. Introverts love this (although it isn’t always good for us), but it drives an extrovert mad.

So, how does an extrovert use intuition to make better decisions?

The answer lies in an extrovert’s strength: action. If you are an extrovert, you don’t want to contemplate what you notice. You want quick action. The solution is to come up with “rules” you can apply to all your decisions. You can use these rules to reach good decisions quickly without the need for a lot of introspection.

Here is an example:

Maia was frustrated. She’d accepted 3 jobs in the last 4 years, and she was already on the prowl for the next “perfect” job. Each time she went for an interview, she got excited about the company, the people, the job. Her passion showed, and employers lined up to hire her. Unfortunately, a few months after she accepted a new position, she was miserable because the job turned out to be a nightmare. She couldn’t believe she didn’t notice the company’s crappy product, people, or work environment before she accepted the job.

Ahh, the joys of being an extrovert. The problem was that Maia loves talking about what she loves, and she likes taking action. She gets excited during the interview, and all her talking and adrenaline “hides” her intuitive whispers that are telling her to run.

The cool thing is that our intuition is very smart. If we don’t listen to the intuitive whispers, it sends intuitive slaps in the face. Maia and I talked about the last interview that produced a less-than-ideal job. She happened to mention that she felt very tired after the interview. Not just a bit sleepy, but so tired that she went to sleep in the middle of the afternoon.

This is odd. Maia loves talking to people and selling herself. She doesn’t get tired in the afternoon, especially not after a day of talking and selling. What gives?

This is the good, old intuitive slap in the face I mentioned. Maia wasn’t built to listen to her mind, but her body was speaking volumes in a language she could understand. Action and excitement is her normal reaction to a day of interviewing, but this time she feels exhausted. Red flag.

So, the intuitive decision making process for an extrovert is short and sweet:

1. Pay attention to your body’s reactions to decisions that turn out good.

2. Notice when your reactions don’t match this “good decision” norm.

3. Avoid decisions that favor these atypical reactions.

Maia realized that each dud job followed a pattern: excitement during the interview, exhaustion after the interview. My theory is that Maia’s body was simply worn out from dealing with the negative “vibe” associated with the company, the people, the position, or all three.

Seems simple, but my unscientific studies show that this process works. The body is a major gateway to your intuition. When you are experiencing something that is right for you, your body reacts positively. For Maia, this means energy and a feeling of vibrancy. When the experience is less than optimal, you will feel bad, or at least not normal. In Maia’s case, she was uncharacteristically inclined to go home and hibernate.

Dr. Martha Beck, the well-known life coach and best-selling author, describes this process best:

You can use your body’s innate properties to play a high-stakes game of Hot and Cold. Your body knows where your North Star [what you want] is, and it does its best to tell you when you’re getting “cooler” or “warmer.” When you face a proposition that’s wrong for you, your body will try to go into the negative gesture [the bad decision reaction]…. When you’re headed down your true path, it will want to celebrate by moving into the positive gesture [the good decision reaction].

It is worth noting that this technique also works very well for introverts. But for extroverts, the body can be the best way to access the intuitive mind.